


May and Pepper's Kids

by WhimsicalEthnographies



Series: Up Came the Sun [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome May Parker (Spider-Man), Awesome Pepper Potts, F/M, Gen, IronDad and SpiderSon, May is a rockstar, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, and he loves when he doesn't have to be the grown-up, but let's be real Tony is still a big kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 11:33:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15818049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhimsicalEthnographies/pseuds/WhimsicalEthnographies
Summary: “You know, we do have extra floors at the tower,” Pepper is only partly joking.“Let’s not get crazy,” May snorts.  “And he may not realize it now, but I’ll give it another week or two until he’s ready for a break.  Teenagers are A LOT.”“Don’t tell him that.  He’ll probably be horribly offended someone is talking about Peter that way.”“No, I’m gonna let him figure that one out on his own.  Preferably when I’m relaxing at a spa somewhere far far away.”“We’ll make a date, then.  Tell you what,” Pepper sits up.  “I’ll go get our children and get them to actually be productive, while you and I will not indulge in maladaptive stress relief and actually take a breath tonight.”





	May and Pepper's Kids

**Author's Note:**

> Mama Pepper's POV, with some May thrown in for good measure. I larb Aunt May.
> 
> If you don't mind a blog that consists of shitposting, misunderstanding the memes all the kids talk about today, Johnlock conspiracies, and occasional MCU screaming follow me on the tumblr dot com [whimsicalethnographies](http://whimsicalethnographies.tumblr.com/)

“Pepper?” Pepper hears May calling down the hall in their private quarters. It’d been a relatively slow Saturday, and she’s spent it holed up in their space. They’d be heading back to the city in a few days, and she needed the break, or she would drive herself crazy trying to find things to take her mind off the stress. She learned long ago that running around looking for things to do often only made the stress worse. A dozen super-people was a lot to keep track of. Babysitting Tony was hard enough, and she had almost fifteen years of experience with that.

“In here, May!” she calls, taking a sip of her rosé spritzer and flipping a page of the bridal magazine in her lap. She doesn’t need to use a bridal magazine and she certainly doesn’t need wine at three o’clock on a Saturday afternoon, but it feels appropriate, considering how she’s been the past month and a half pulling her hair out. She was even able to find five minutes to sneak out for one of the Marlboro Light 100s stashed is in the bottom compartment of her purse earlier. Pepper isn’t exactly pleased to be joined in the sitting room, but May is no bother. Tony told her they became quite close in the years after the Snap, and Pepper could use a true friend who has some inkling of the stress she’s consistently under. And she’s quite funny.

“Oh, thank goodness I’m able to find someone not dressed in leather and carrying a weapon,” May hurries in, looking frazzled. She’s carrying a massive basket of laundry, her hair pulling out of the clip on the back of her head. May leans the basket against the back of the enormous gray couch in order to adjust her gold-rimmed glasses. “Have you seen Peter?”

“No, not since this morning” Pepper takes another sip of her wine and tosses the magazine on the small table next to her oversized chair. “And speaking of missing children, I haven’t seen Tony all day either.”

“They’d better not be out flying. I told Peter he needed to spend the day packing up.” After everyone had returned to the Compound, Tony had taken up flying Peter around with the Iron Man suit, something he’d vehemently refused to do outside emergency situations _before_. Pepper hated it, and more importantly she knew May hated it, even though Tony had assured them that Peter’s new suit had two parachutes stuffed in it, and the Mark LI could move many times faster than terminal velocity in the event that Peter fell. Of course, they’d all become more indulgent of Peter in the months since he returned to them, and both Pepper and May looked the other way when just about every Avenger gave in to him. Tony, on the other hand, downright pushed boundaries. Thank goodness Peter was too good a kid to take advantage of it.

“Ms. Parker,” FRIDAY politely interrupts from the ceiling, “Boss is not out flying. Mr. Parker and Boss are in the private garage.”

Pepper suppresses a laugh as May jumps and looks up at the ceiling, startled. Tony gave both her and Peter full access to FRIDAY when they arrived back at the compound _after_ , but May has yet to become accustomed to the AI.

“Thank you, FRIDAY. Should I bother to ask what they’re doing?”

“I wouldn’t advise it, Miss Potts.”

“Of course not,” Pepper rolls her eyes and tosses back the rest of her wine. “I can go get them, but I wish you’d stop running around, May. We have people to pack for us. Thank God, by the way, because I know I needed to just stop and sit for a minute.”

“I know you said that, but you’ve done so much already. The least I can do is wash and pack my own clothes.”

“Don’t let Tony hear you say that,” Pepper pushes herself up off the chair, grabbing her empty wine glass. She’ll probably refill it before going down. Go big or go home, and all that.

“He could probably use to hear it,” May sighs and walks around to the front of the couch, plunking her load of laundry down and sinking into the cushions. 

“Don’t I know it,” Pepper smiles. “One time it took him three hours to make an omelet. Yet he can put together a new suit in about two.”

“Peter is the same way,” May rolls her eyes. “The kid can build a computer in an afternoon, but once we went to Cape Cod and it took him over a week to pack for a weekend trip.” She looks up at Pepper from her massive mountain of laundry. “Procrastion to--”

“Avoid.” Pepper finishes with her, both of them nodding to themselves. Pepper crosses the room to the open kitchen and pulls an opened bottle of seltzer and a half bottle of rosé out of the fridge. She replaces the rosé with a new one from the counter to chill it. “Whereas I find more things to do when something I’m not looking forward to is looming.” 

“Mood,” May sighs and unclips her hair, staring at an invisible spot on their immaculate white carpet. 

Pepper smiles as she pulls a second wine glass out of the cabinet next to the fridge--she finds it endlessly amusing that Peter’s colloquialisms and “memes” have worn off on both May and Tony. Her mind wanders back to the full bar back in their penthouse in NYC and how much she misses the glasses there, although she doubts they’d make any difference with an eight-dollar bottle of rosé and store-brand seltzer. She pours a generous amount of the pink wine in each glass and tops it off with the sparkling water.

“I hope it’s not intrusive to ask,” Pepper says as she heads back into the sitting area, carefully carrying the two overly-full glasses. “But I am going to: what are you not looking forward to?”

“Thank you,” May says gratefully, taking the glass from Pepper and she sits down on the gray couch. “And I don’t think I’m allowed to call anything you do intrusive, after we’ve squatted in one of your homes for so long.”

“I know I speak on behalf of both myself and Tony when I say you are welcome to _squat_ in any of our homes anytime you want to,” Pepper hopes she’s making herself clear without being condescending or insulting May’s pride; she grew up in a working-class home and knows how grating _les gens riches_ can be even when trying to be truly generous. “You and Peter are always welcome. But,” she takes a large sip of the spritzer, “you didn’t answer my question.”

May sighs and downs about half of her large glass of wine. When she’s finished swallowing her eyes narrow slightly. “I don’t know if I want to go home.”

Pepper isn’t sure exactly what she means, so she opts for the least weighty path. “It’s addicting, I know I’d be a hypocrite if I couldn’t admit how much I miss an AI that has coffee ready for me the moment I step into the kitchen--”

“Not that,” May smiles sadly, “although I will miss that shower nozzle.” She takes another gulp from her glass. “I mean back, in--in the larger sense.” She gesticulates in her entirely Italian way. “Back to, well, _normal_. If anything can be normal again.”

“Ah.” Pepper doesn’t elaborate, knowing there’s surely more May wants to say.

“After I first learned what Peter was doing when he was sneaking out at night, it was hard enough. But we managed to do it. I don’t know how to manage it with what happened this time,” May looks over at Pepper, her eyes shiny and sad. Pepper merely takes a drink and motions for her to continue.

“I know Peter has to get some normalcy back, but...a huge part of me is terrified to leave,” May blinks rapidly. “He’s safe here, and--and,” her voice wavers a bit. “I-I can’t help him the way Tony can…”

“Oh, May,” Pepper shifts closer to her on the couch. Her heart squeezes and she wraps an arm around May’s shoulders. “You are his rock, you have been for most of his life. We can’t even begin to understand him the way you do, even if we wanted to.”

“I don’t know his life anymore, Pepper,” May pulls her glasses off and pinches the bridge of her nose. It reminds Pepper so much of Tony when he’s trying not to emote that she actually has to hold a snort in, despite the gravity of their discussion. “I can bandage his cuts and get him ice for bruises, but I can never understand what he does and sees. I’ll never understand what happened to him out there. I don’t know how to calm him down or make him feel better when he has those nightmares or can’t turn his mind off long enough to get a full night of sleep.”

Pepper purses her lips; she’s never witnessed one, but Tony has told her that Peter has had several sleepless nights in the months he’s been back, and that it took both him and May crowding around him in the large bed in his room to get him to calm down and breathe normally again. He’d always described it as a team effort; more than once he’d thanked whatever gods existed the kid had an aunt like May. Pepper considers her next words carefully.

“You raised that boy, May. You turned an orphaned kid into the sweetest, most loving, most selfless boy I’ve certainly ever met. You know him and understand him in a way the rest of the world never will.”

“I had help,” May shakes her head, dismissing Pepper’s statement. “Ben was _my_ rock. I had no idea how to be a mother.”

“Peter tells the best stories about him,” Pepper smiles. “Even if I think you did a splendid job of it, myself.” She lays a gentle hand over one of May’s. “And I hope I’m not being too forward, but there’s no shame in having some help. And we’ll always be here to offer it. We love that kid, May. And for as much as he may need Tony right now, Tony probably needs him more.”

“Just because something is forward doesn’t mean we don’t need to hear it,” May huffs a laugh and sniffs. “I just want him to be ok, and have no idea how to manage it.”

“Well, you do your May thing, and Tony will do the superhero things, and I’ll be waiting in the wings whenever either of you need a shoulder to cry on or a glass of wine at 3:30 on a Saturday afternoon.”

“Oh, thank God for wine!” May laughs for real this time, and throws back the rest of her glass. It’s only rosé spritzer, but Pepper is impressed nonetheless. “I drank two and a half bottles the night I found out about Spiderman.”

“I went through three myself when I found out about Iron Man. It’s been ten years and I’m still not used to it,” Pepper takes a large swig from her own glass.

“I hope I never get used to it.”

“It may not be good for our blood pressure, but I advise you not to.”

“Noted,” May swallows the last few dregs in her glass then sighs. “Thank you, but I don’t know if I actually feel better.”

“So long as you know that as far as we’re concerned, we’re in this together,” Pepper pats May’s knee as she stands, and takes her empty glass to refill it.

“Thank you,” May says sincerely. “I know I wasn’t his biggest fan in the beginning, but I owe Tony so much.”

“He’d say the same, for letting him have that kid,” Pepper pours another for May and tops off her own glass. She means it with her whole heart; Peter may be one of the best things that ever happened to Tony, and she’s glad she has no real memory of the four years he had to survive without him. “But, and I’m going to be far too forward again,” Pepper heads back out into the sitting room. “He’s encouraging the avoidance right now, and feeding off Peter’s procrastination himself.”

“I’d be one to talk,” May accepts her fresh glass with a smile. “He’s getting seriously spoiled. Suits and superhero toys are one thing, but I had to stop James from giving him a beer with dinner last night. He’s learning and _evolving_.”

“Well, in a week we won’t have a compound full of Avengers to spoil him, just Tony,” Pepper sits back onto the couch and sinks into the cushions. She doesn’t miss the slight blush on May’s cheeks as she mentions Rhodey.

“And Happy. That man is the worst of all of us.”

“Oh, don’t I know it. His whole act is nothing but a front,” Pepper sighs. “Tony doesn’t want to leave either.”

“No?”

“No. He hasn’t said it, but I know he feels more secure here. For himself, and Peter,” Pepper exams the fingernails on her left hand. “And I know he’s worried he won’t see him as much.”

“Oh, please. You know how Peter is. And after everything, I wouldn’t have the heart to keep him at home, even if I thought it was for the best.”

“You know, we do have extra floors at the tower,” Pepper is only partly joking.

“Let’s not get crazy,” May snorts. “And he may not realize it now, but I’ll give it another week or two until he’s ready for a break. Teenagers are A LOT.”

“Don’t tell him that. He’ll probably be horribly offended someone is talking about Peter that way.”

“No, I’m gonna let him figure that one out on his own. Preferably when I’m relaxing at a spa somewhere far far away.”

“We’ll make a date, then. Tell you what,” Pepper sits up. “I’ll go get our children and get them to actually be productive, while you and I will not indulge in maladaptive stress relief and actually take a breath tonight.”

“Pepper, this has to get done,” May gestures to the basket of laundry, clearly implying there’s much more where this came from. 

“Let Tony and Peter do it,” Pepper waves her hand. “What’s the one gross, fast, embarrassing comfort food you eat when you can?”

“Ritz crackers and cream cheese.”

“That’s a good one,” Pepper nods. “Mine is those nasty little pizza bites. Done in the microwave, not the oven.”

“Ooooh, yes.”

“Well, then I propose we indulge ourselves tonight,” Pepper pulls herself up off the couch. “Go put on your most generous leggings and I’ll coax the heathens out of their lair. We’ll meet back here at five to put together our feast. Think about what terrible thing you want to watch.”

“Hoarders,’’ May replies instantly, sitting up straight on the couch.

“Oh dear, I’ve only ever heard things, never watched.”

“Get ready to have your stomach turned,” May stands up. “It’s the _best._ I’m taking this with me,” she indicates her glass. 

“Obviously. Now break.”

******

After Pepper has changed herself and refilled her glass, she heads down to the garage in the basement level of the compound, silently sending up a prayer of thanks that she doesn’t hear any loud explosions or screams from the space. “Friday, access,” she speaks to the ceiling when she arrives at the heavy metal door, and a panel for her hand print flips open from the wall. So much more dramatic than the key code in their non-Avengers associated homes, although she know it’s probably for good reason.

The door beeps open and Pepper steps inside just as Peter yells “Pull!” She watches as DUM-E lobs a plate into the air and Peter sends a web straight at it, shooting it out of the air.

“Pull!” Peter yells again, and this time a plate comes from the opposite side of the room; he spins, and fires another web. Pepper yelps as a shard flies in front of her face. Tony swivels around in his chair where he’s watching the spider child, calmly shoveling something out of a large Tupperware container into his mouth. Neither looks like they even so much as showered today; Tony is still in sweats and a t-shirt.

“Oh! Pepper, s-sorry!” Peter’s face flushes and Pepper feels a warm rush of affection. “I-I didn’t hear you come in.”

“‘Spidey’ sense still not up to par?” Pepper smiles and walks into the garage. She’s the only one aside from Peter who refers to his over-heightened sense of self-preservation as that. Tony had rolled his eyes and refused and May had straight up laughed in his face, but it made Peter smile when she said it, so she kept doing it.

“No, it’s gotten better. It just doesn’t react if I’m, you know, if I already feel safe.” If possible, Peter’s face flushes a deeper red.

“Gotcha,” Pepper ruffles his hair when she reaches him. “What are you boys doing?”

“Training,” Tony shovels another spoonful into his mouth, as if watching a teenage boy with spider DNA shoot plates out of the sky with engineered webbing was completely normal.

“Are those plates from my kitchen?”

“No,” Tony takes another bite, chewing loudly. “They’re from the common kitchen.”

“Ah, well, thank God for that,” she ruffles Peter’s hair again. It’s ungelled and his curls are unruly and unbelievably soft, too soft to belong to an Avenger. “Your aunt wanted to know if you’ve started packing.”

“Um, not really,” Peter fidgets, pulling at the webshooter on his left wrist. “I was going to start tomorrow.”

“Yeah, he was gonna start tomorrow,” Tony repeats, his mouth full of whatever he’s eating.

“You also need to start, Iron Man,” Pepper lays a hand on Peter’s shoulder, gently guiding him towards the door.

“Everything I have here I have more of in the tower.”

“Then you’re going to help Peter pack,” Pepper turns back to the kid, who’s watching their back and forth with a small smile on his face. “Your aunt has an entire basket of laundry with your name on it upstairs--” Peter’s smile melts off his face and he groans. “--and says there’s more where it came from.”

“I’ll buy him more clothes.”

“ _Tony,_ ” Pepper admonishes, narrowing her eyes. She puts on her most scoldery face. “Peter needs to start getting ready. And you both need to actually bathe for the day.”

“Fine, _Mom_ ,” Tony rolls his eyes, but he pushes himself out of the chair. “Alright, Spiderling, you heard the boss. Let’s go throw things around your room for the rest of the night.”

“Go on up, Pete,” Pepper brushes Peter’s overlong bangs off his forehead. “I’ll send Tony up in a moment.”

“Sure thing, Pepper,” he smiles, then throws Tony a small shrug and apologetic grimace. Tony just shakes his head and motions for him to head upstairs. Peter schleps along, looking as if he’s being sent off to his execution, and Pepper can’t help but smile at how much Tony’s dramatics have worn off on him. God help them all.

“Order us a pizza!” Tony calls just as the door is about to click behind him. “No pineapple!” The door clicks shut and he turns back to Pepper, eating another spoonful of whatever is in the opaque plastic container. “So, how much trouble am I in?”

“None, Iron Man. Yet,” she walks over to him, trying to peer into the container. “What are you eating?”

“Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Cracklin’ Oat Bran in chocolate milk. Kid invented it.”

“That sounds disgusting.”

“It is. In the best way,” Tony shovels another spoonful in his mouth. Pepper can see the chocolate milk drip off the spoon. “But seriously,” he says through chewing. “How much trouble?”

“Seriously, none,” Pepper runs her hands down Tony’s arms. “But I know you’re trying to avoid this, and you can’t. We’re leaving this week.”

“We don’t have to. We could make it work. Vis can homeschool him.”

“Tony…”

“And Happy doesn’t mind getting his friends, if they want to come up. Or taking him down…”

“Tony.”

“And the team all love him, he really lifts morale, after everything--”

“Anthony Edward Stark,” Pepper stops him, placing her hands on his shoulders. “You know that’s not the best for Peter.”

“We can watch him here.”

“We can watch him in the city,” Pepper runs her thumb over his cheek. He needs a shave. “We’re going to have to. May is worried about going back.”

“Ah, see! Not a bad idea to stay.”

“Not in the immediate future, but long-term? You know he needs to be back there.”

“Pep--”

“You’ll still see him,” Pepper just cuts right to the chase. She was never one for games, and she knows what’s at the heart of Tony’s frankly fantastic proposals. “A lot. May explicitly told me she’s going to need you to help helicopter-parent him.”

“She did?”

“Not in so many words,” Pepper smiles up at her fiance. “But she is worried, and she knows only you can help him with some parts of his life now.” She frames his face in her hands; the ring on her left finger glints under the flourescent lights of the garage. “And he needs us to be the grown-ups while he finds he space again. So be the grown-up, Tony.”

“Being the grown-up sucks.”

“Well, I don’t know how grown, if you’re able to stomach that nonsense,” she teases, leaning forward to peck his mouth. 

“It’s actually good!”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Pepper takes his free hand and leads him towards the door. “And I wasn’t kidding when I said you needed a shower.”

“Yes, Miss Potts.”

“And I wasn’t exaggerating, Tony,” Pepper stops when they reach the metal door. “He’s still gonna need you, and he’s still gonna be around. He’s still your Spider-kid.”

Tony sighs. “I know.”

“Good,” Pepper leans forward and kisses him again. “Now go be a grown-up.” She pats his rear and pushes him through the door. “And shower first. I expect to see some progress in the morning!”

“Yes, boss!” Tony calls as he jogs up the stairs. She shakes her head and follows, then veers off to the kitchen for pizza bites and cream cheese on Ritz crackers. 

**Author's Note:**

> Psssshaw, Tony and Peter are not gonna do any packing. Let's be real.


End file.
